And I never updated as to what was happening in my life.
I went to freshmen orientation, I signed up for my classes, I bought this for my dorm room, I moves into my dorm room and i withdrew from UCSB the very next day. Yup, i did. After I had finished decorating my dorm an putting all my clothes and stuff in place, i sat on the desk that would be mine, and i realized that i did not want to be there. I wasn't home sick as many people like to tell me so, but i was not ready to be at UCSB. I realized that I was not ready for the transition from a 30 student classroom to 200 class lecture. I needed a transitioning phase. So I applied to the junior college in my city, signed up for my classes and was set to start at the JC in January because I did not want to wait an entire year to apply to a university, so instead, I just took a semester off.
However, I didn't just bum it out in my house, I applied for a job and started working. But it was only temporarily and pretty soon I started school.
My first semester in college was not what I expected. I expected more work that I would be able to handle and more studying than I've ever done in my life. That's not what I got. With one math class and 2 sciences i expected my workload too be pretty heavy, but it was quite the opposite. My math class was super easy as i took an advance math course in high school and my chemistry class just seemed like 10th grade Chemistry class. However, my biology class is what i has some trouble with as Biology is my WORST SUBJECT. But in the end i pulled through and ended the semester with a 3.0!!
My point is that I did not regret my decision to withdraw from UCSB and stay at a JC, but rather i feel that I made the best choice for me. I am happy with my decision and grateful that my parents(my mom) supported me. My dad was pissed an wouldn't talk to me for 2 months, but he came around.
I felt pressured into attending a UC since all i ever heard form my dad growing up was "you need to study hard and get good grades so you can go to a university'. The thought of going to a JC or a CSU never crossed my mind, my mind was always set on a UC, so when it came time to apply for colleges, I applied to 8 college, and got into 5 of them and decided that i wanted go go away and decided UCSB.
When I decided to come back, i felt relieved and that felt a HUGE burden lifted of my shoulders. That I finally made a decision that was right for ME and that I did'nt decide something because i felt pressured into doing it or that if I didn't choose a certain way, that I would be letting down my parents. Making this decision was the best thing I could have done for ME and i made it. I never considered anybody's feeling and thoughts but my own when I was sitting on the desk that was not meant to be mine staring at a picture of my family that I had taken with me. And it was the best thing i could have done.
