Closer and Closer

3 days until my Freshman orientation at UCSB and I'm freaking out. 

I'm scared, nervous, and I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack at any second...

But I'm also excited for this new experience that I'm gonna have. I will be living in the dorms and be away from family (which i feel both sad and happy about) but that also mean more independence. 

My parents have always let us have independence to make our own choices but they've always given advice and their opinions. I want that independence but I'm also scared of what could happen because of that independence. 

As the first day of school gets closer and closer, I feel more stressed and I',m worrying about everything. If i'll like it there, did i pick the right major, the right dorm, the right classes, what if i flunk out, hate my roommate or just plain hate it there. All these things run through my head daily and the only think that i can do to help me put these thoughts aside is thinking 'I need to give it a shot. Spend at least a year there doing GE and if you don't like it, transfer.' or things like 'It's okay. You'll like it. Obviously you'll feel homesick but that's normal.'

Simple words like scared yet exited do not even begin to cover what I feel-I can't even put these feeling into words. I'm just gonna take it one day at a time and mentally prepare myself for whats to come.  

It's Almost Time.

So I haven't posted anything for a LOOOOONNGGG time and I think its time I start up again.

Its senior year. Well, the end if it, and I just graduated. On june 5 I became a high school graduate with a diploma. Exciting right? Yeah, but also scary. It took me forever to decide what I wanted to do with my life, I still need to figure the rest out.

I know where I'm going to college and I have an idea of what I want to do but what had to be decided was finally decided.  I have at least a year to completely make up my mind because freshmen year is mostly GE classes anyway.

The more I thought about college, the more I stressed and when I finally decided what to do, I felt this HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders. The only thing I have to worry about now is school (when it starts).

High school is supposed to be fun and excited with things to do an clubs to join BUT school work is also very important. I didn't realized that until Junior year. My freshmen year and sophomore year in high school I did well, no failing graded, all passing, but I still hoped that someone told me that colleges DO look at those grades and that those grades DO matter when you are getting sat for graduation practice. I was in the third row for graduation, but if I had just gotten that 1 A in PE freshmen year (yes PE) I would have been in the 2nd row.

I don't want to scare anybody, I just want to say to have fun but also make sure to try your hardest. Think about your future, not too much because you will stress and worry and drive yourself crazy. Just once in a while think about it.

Over, and out. :P